Idea for Getting on Government Payroll

I have heard of people getting paid not to do something.  I thought it would be a good idea to get into that line of work.  I found this form letter to help me get on the government payroll.  Feel free to use it as wellSmile


Dear Uncle Sam:

My friend Bill Jones over in Runnels County received a check from the government for $1000 for not raising hogs. So I plan on going into the "not raising hogs" business next year.

What I want to know…in your opinion…what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on? And, what are the best kinds of hogs NOT to raise? I would prefer not to raise razor-backs, but if that is not a good breed not to raise, I will gladly not raise Berkshires or Durocs.

The hardest work in this business is going to be in keeping an inventory of how many hogs I am not raising.

If I can get $1000 for not raising 50 hogs, then will I get $2000 for not raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 hogs, which means I will have $80,000 at the beginning. Then I can afford to buy that boat I’ve always wanted.

Now another thing…these hogs I will not be raising will not eat at least 100,000 bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising corn. So will you pay me anything for not raising 100,000 bushels of corn for not feeding the hogs I’m not going to raise?

I want to get started as soon as possible…as this seems to be a good time of the year for not raising hogs. Please let me hear from you soon.

Yours very truly,

I. M. Broke

P.S. Can I raise 10 or 12 hogs on the side while I’m in the "not raising hogs" business…just so I’ll have something to eat?

HT: Encyclopedia of 15,000 Illustrations: Signs of the Times.

One thought on “Idea for Getting on Government Payroll

  1. Sadly, this happened when I was young-and may still be going on. I recall my granddfather and uncle getting paid not to raise beans and wheat-I believe it was. Hey, the U.S. Government in action.

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