The Devil’s Beatitudes

Last night, we started our series on the Sermon on the Mount.  We began with a look at the beatitudes which are instruction for right living.  When I got home, Sonya shared with me an email from my mom that had the devil’s beatitudes.  Yes, my mom sent the email to me too. “Sorry mom, I don’t read everything I get by email.”  Nonetheless, this is a good picture of what our enemy wants us to live like.

“If the Devil were to write his Beatitudes, they would probably look like this: 

1. Blessed are those who are too tired or busy to spend an hour once a week with fellow Christians — they are my best workers.

2. Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked — I can use them.

3. Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church — they are my missionaries.

4. Blessed are the trouble makers — they shall be called my children.

5. Blessed are the complainers — I’m all ears to them.

6. Blessed are those who are bored with the minister’s mannerisms and mistakes, for they get nothing out of his sermons.

7. Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church – for he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.

8. Blessed are those who gossip — for they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.

9. Blessed are those who are easily offended — for they will soon get angry and quit.

10. Blessed are those who do not give their offering to carry on God’s work — for they are my helpers.

11. Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister — for he shall be with me forever!

12. Blessed are you who, when you read this think it is   about other people and not yourself — I’ve got you, too!”

 -Author Unknown- 

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